My Best Fatherly Advice
Being a sneaker wearing dad of two cute daughters I know I should be dishing out my best fatherly advice. Here are my guidelines every girl should know...
1. Boys Are Evil -
Really no explanation needed. Refer to #2.
2. Boys Only Want To See You Naked -
Do not under any circumstances find yourself alone with a boy until you are either in a very committed relationship or are married. Public places are fine. There is only one reason a boy would want to be alone with you - refer to #1.
3. Boys Do Not Love You -
If a boy tells you he loves you refer to #2. Boys lie, refer to #1.
4. Gossip Is Not As Important As Friendship -
Never say anything about a friend that you would not say to their face. No matter what, gossip will get out. Talk highly about your friends, talk sparingly about your enemies.
5. A True Friend Will Never Abandon You -
Short of murder and adultery, a true friend is one that sticks with you through thick and thin. If a friend abandons you, they most likely weren't a true friend in the first place. Don't abandon your friends when they need you most. A shoulder to cry on is a very special place.
6. Stay Educated -
You should always know who your politicians are, you should always know how to balance a checkbook, you should know how to cook at least one great meal, you should know the rules to at least one major sport, you should know how to change a flat, read whenever possible. Learn the game of golf or tennis.
7. Know How To Protect Yourself -
Refer to #2. Do not be paranoid but always be alert. Know the steps you would take to get out of any sticky situation. Knowledge will replace fear. Always be prepared.
8. The Borrower Is Slave To The Lender -
Stay out of debt whenever possible. Credit cards are almost as evil as boys. Learn to invest on your own. Create a budget and stick to it! Spend less than you earn. Save.
9. There's No Time Like The Present -
Do it now. Talking about things can be a waste of time. Take action. Start today and work out the details as you go along. Try things while you are young and get involved. On the other hand, you're never to old to start. Life is short, don't dilly-dally.
10. You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To -
If you want something bad enough, and you really make an effort to make it happen, the chances are that it will happen. Set goals and strive to meet them. Do not listen to naysayers. Dream big.
11. Giving Up Is Not An Option -
Don't give up and don't quit. The moment you are about to give up will be the moment that defines you. Avoid regret and give everything you do 110% effort.
12. Do -
Vote, Pray, Laugh, Share, Encourage, Exercise, Hug, Listen, Make Amends, Sacrifice, Forgive, Participate
13. Don't -
Lie, Cheat, Steal, Sulk, Belittle, Condemn, Overindulge, Smoke, Drink, Follow Blindly, Brag
This is a minor start. I will be adding more fatherly advice as my daughters grow older.
1. Boys Are Evil -
Really no explanation needed. Refer to #2.
2. Boys Only Want To See You Naked -
Do not under any circumstances find yourself alone with a boy until you are either in a very committed relationship or are married. Public places are fine. There is only one reason a boy would want to be alone with you - refer to #1.
3. Boys Do Not Love You -
If a boy tells you he loves you refer to #2. Boys lie, refer to #1.
4. Gossip Is Not As Important As Friendship -
Never say anything about a friend that you would not say to their face. No matter what, gossip will get out. Talk highly about your friends, talk sparingly about your enemies.
5. A True Friend Will Never Abandon You -
Short of murder and adultery, a true friend is one that sticks with you through thick and thin. If a friend abandons you, they most likely weren't a true friend in the first place. Don't abandon your friends when they need you most. A shoulder to cry on is a very special place.
6. Stay Educated -
You should always know who your politicians are, you should always know how to balance a checkbook, you should know how to cook at least one great meal, you should know the rules to at least one major sport, you should know how to change a flat, read whenever possible. Learn the game of golf or tennis.
7. Know How To Protect Yourself -
Refer to #2. Do not be paranoid but always be alert. Know the steps you would take to get out of any sticky situation. Knowledge will replace fear. Always be prepared.
8. The Borrower Is Slave To The Lender -
Stay out of debt whenever possible. Credit cards are almost as evil as boys. Learn to invest on your own. Create a budget and stick to it! Spend less than you earn. Save.
9. There's No Time Like The Present -
Do it now. Talking about things can be a waste of time. Take action. Start today and work out the details as you go along. Try things while you are young and get involved. On the other hand, you're never to old to start. Life is short, don't dilly-dally.
10. You Can Do Anything You Set Your Mind To -
If you want something bad enough, and you really make an effort to make it happen, the chances are that it will happen. Set goals and strive to meet them. Do not listen to naysayers. Dream big.
11. Giving Up Is Not An Option -
Don't give up and don't quit. The moment you are about to give up will be the moment that defines you. Avoid regret and give everything you do 110% effort.
12. Do -
Vote, Pray, Laugh, Share, Encourage, Exercise, Hug, Listen, Make Amends, Sacrifice, Forgive, Participate
13. Don't -
Lie, Cheat, Steal, Sulk, Belittle, Condemn, Overindulge, Smoke, Drink, Follow Blindly, Brag
This is a minor start. I will be adding more fatherly advice as my daughters grow older.
posted by Shaggy D at
9:00 PM
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